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What is the funniest joke you've been told that you still think about to this day?

Last Updated: 17.06.2025 02:02

What is the funniest joke you've been told that you still think about to this day?

“The Murphy twins are drunk again.”

Two blokes are sitting at the end of a bar. One orders a drink. The other one says, “From your voice, I’d guess you’re from Ireland.”

The first fellow is now beside himself. “The good Lord must be smiling on us. Imagine that the two of us should be meeting here, having grown up on the same street, gone to the same school, and graduated in the same year.”

Why do some women alter their faces by so-called cosmetic surgeries (on their eyes, cheeks, lips, chin, jaw) that making them look like Donald Duck or puffy aliens, while for most men these unnatural facial changes are ridiculous or even disgusting?

“Well, to St. Mary’s, of course.”

“Now why would you be saying that, Brian?”

“Oh, let me see now. ’Twas 1964, it was.”

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I’m from Dublin, I am.”

“A lovely little area of the old part of town, McCleary Street.”

“Faith and begorrah. What a small world. So did I. And to what school would you school would you have been going?”

What techniques can be used to sing like Freddie Mercury if one is unable to hit high notes?

“So am I. And from where in Ireland might you be?” says the first.

“Yes, that I am,” says the second.

At that point, a woman enters, stands at the other end, and orders a drink. Brian, the bartender says, “Oh, Vicky, it’s going to be a long, tiring night.”

Why is squid ink safe to eat, while skunk spray is not? What makes the two liquids different from each other?

“Mother Mary. And on what street in Dublin did you live?”

“As did I,” the first bloke says, getting very excited. “And what year did you graduate?”